Funny Google Searches #1

Derek Ouellette —  January 27, 2013

I don’t know if this is going to become a new series, but I got the inspiration for this post from the tweet of a blogging friend:

So here are some of the funny things people google searched to find me in the past seven days. And I’m going to have some fun by trying to guess how that search landed them on my blog [note: these searches are unedited]:

“st patrick” nipples captain

Haha. Well, I did a series on St. Patrick once about three years ago. Somewhere in that series I mentioned how the ancient Irish liked to eat the nipples off of the people they conquered. I can’t imagine why someone would be interested in the Captains nipples.

did james dunn speak in tongues

I don’t know why I find this funny, but I do. I have no idea if James Dunn speaks in tongues. My guess is the person found my blog because I’ve written (in completely separate and unrelated posts) on James Dunn and on tongues.

how to build a wooden throne

Frankly, I couldn’t build a bird house if I tried. I’m just no good with wood or with tools. So I’m pretty sure nobody is going find how to instructions for building a wooden throne on this site. I did write a post once called “Timeless Wooden Throne.” It’s still one of my more popular posts. I suspect it’s how that search landed on my site.

lee strobel heretic

I have no idea. I don’t blog about Lee Strobel (I think once I mentioned him). And I certainly never called him a heretic.

how to belete porn from le pan tablet

Someone downloaded porn on their LePan tablet and they want to delete it before they get caught. Sorry, I haven’t been there and those instructions won’t be found on this blog. I did mention once that I got my wife a LePan for Christmas. It broke in less than a month. We returned it and got an iPad 2.

what gods do canadians worship today

Haha. I don’t know. The connection here is that I am “Canadian” and I write about “God.” That’s how this search found me, I’m guessing

do pentecostal believe in the lords supper

Hmmm… It’s kinda hard not to believe in the Lord’s supper (1 Cor. 11:20)

muslim girl in bikini

Haha. Okay, you got me.

rob bell unites with satan

When I saw this I actually laughed out loud. No, I don’t believe Rob Bell and Satan have united.

how to ask my wife to wear bikini

Dude’s got issues. Mark Driscoll has a book for that. :)

[Idea credit: Leslie blogs at The Ruthless Monk. She writes good stuff. Follower her on Twitter.]

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Derek Ouellette

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a husband, new dad, speaker, writer, christian. see my profile here.